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  • Touring types

    As a transplanted Brit (many years ago), I miss the piss taking humour of my former country. So I particularly enjoy the Snowheads forum and enjoyed this recent link.
    https://stylealtitude.com/ski-tour-style-types.html

  • #2
    Jerries = Punters ?
    one way to carry your gear up the mountain, seen on the way to Tuckerman's,
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    Speaking of Jerries, I met two guys skinning up at a ski resort, on Dynafit ST Rotation bindings. They had new kit, but one of them said he kept coming out of his binding. I happened to look down , and saw that his toe pieces were in ski mode; not locked. His toe piece was rotating freely, so every second or third step, his ski released !
    I showed them how to center the toe on the ski, then lock out the toes for skinning up.

    Luckily, he wasn't on steep terrain yet, or he could have lost a ski. I gave them a quick course on how the binding works, going uphill, then down again. I forgot to check if their boots were even in walk mode.
    Last edited by chamonix; 12 May 2021, 09:42 AM.

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    • #3
      Ternurners: These ski tourers spend most of their time bloviating on the internet about modifying their boots and bindings when they are supposed to be working. On the rare occasion that they do get out on a hall pass from their significant other, they skin slow and steady whilst sweating like swine. A pace of about 200 meters per hour is respectable for these geezers. They condescendingly offer unsolicited advice to every group they encounter on every subject from avalanche safety ("You're going to DIE!") to how to make the perfect skin track avoiding kick turns at all costs. And they will go on and on for hours about the dozens of types of kick turns they have perfected. They wear dented, old helmets that offer no protection or no helmet at all and argue amongst themselves about who is engaging more egregiously in risk compensation. They smoke tons of weed and drink beer for hydration. Then they make graceful telemark turns on the down and they never fall.

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      • #4
        Nothing wrong with hiking up dirt with skis on your backpack. Perfectly functional.

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        • #5
          cesare,

          ouch. The reflexive sting of hitting my humorous dead center. LMAO.

          ain't no turn like tele!

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          • #6
            Originally posted by cesare View Post
            Ternurners: These ski tourers spend most of their time bloviating on the internet about modifying their boots and bindings when they are supposed to be working. On the rare occasion that they do get out on a hall pass from their significant other, they skin slow and steady whilst sweating like swine. A pace of about 200 meters per hour is respectable for these geezers. They condescendingly offer unsolicited advice to every group they encounter on every subject from avalanche safety ("You're going to DIE!") to how to make the perfect skin track avoiding kick turns at all costs. And they will go on and on for hours about the dozens of types of kick turns they have perfected. They wear dented, old helmets that offer no protection or no helmet at all and argue amongst themselves about who is engaging more egregiously in risk compensation. They smoke tons of weed and drink beer for hydration. Then they make graceful telemark turns on the down and they never fall.
            Somewhere, FHW smiles.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by xmatt View Post
              Nothing wrong with hiking up dirt with skis on your backpack. Perfectly functional.
              Well I have certainly booted on steep snow, or hiked up dirt, up with skis on my backpack. I just posted that picture above showing some ridiculous sized packs, and extra gear..at that point we had enough snow to skin up.
              Click image for larger version  Name:	Mt Washington with Art.jpg Views:	1 Size:	130.3 KB ID:	110047
              Mt Washington, top of Left Gully,
              skis on my backpack.
              Last edited by chamonix; 12 May 2021, 10:18 AM.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by chamonix View Post

                Well I have certainly booted on steep snow, or hiked up dirt, up with skis on my backpack. I just posted that picture above showing some ridiculous sized packs, and extra gear..at that point we had enough snow to skin up.
                Click image for larger version Name:	Mt Washington with Art.jpg Views:	1 Size:	130.3 KB ID:	110047
                Mt Washington, top of Left Gully,
                skis on my backpack.
                I hear. My first ever backcountry trip was up Tuckerman's. I hiked up, with a backpack ludicrously overfilled with warm clothes even though it was shorts and T-shirt weather all the way up. I think I was probably booting uphill in rear entry boots or something. Still, I climbed it and skied it, good day in my book. Even though I'd blow past my old self now, with better gear choices and more knowledge, that's still a bc trip to remember for me.

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                • #9
                  The 7 plus tern-urners is all pretty hiliarious and spot on.

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                  • #10
                    I too have hiked from Rt 16 to Tuckerman Ravine in a pair of T2's, with skis and camping gear on my back. I'd probably do it differently now.


                    This photo from the article is great. The Eastpak bookbags give them away as newbie youngsters, but I actually think their logic is sound. Maybe if they clipped their poles to their packs (and given the soft packed surface in the photo), I bet they'd move uphill faster & more naturally than if they were skinning in the same gear. Our resort has a race straight up the mountain and back down. Runners always top out first, then get caught by skiers on the way down. I've always thought the absolute fastest & most efficient would be running in an NNN-BC type boot while towing skis, then clicking in at the top and making survival turns back down. Don't let the internet bullies make fun of you, kids -- I think you're genius!


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                    • #11
                      btw, for the opposite in silliness, a couple times in the last few years, we've had enough snow for some urban skiing (Seattle). I live near some pretty steep hills for urban streets, around 20% grade, but a run is barely over 100 ft vertical. Anyway, I've seen people using skins and modern light AT gear to skin for laps. A few even had lycra on.... Waxless lightweight tele crushes there, no contest. I'd put it against any other gear choice in a timed race on those conditions, though running with a sled might be a close competitor. Put a few gates in, and waxless tele definitely beats anything.
                      Last edited by xmatt; 12 May 2021, 04:46 PM.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by xmatt View Post
                        btw, for the opposite in silliness, a couple times in the last few years, we've had enough snow for some urban skiing (Seattle). I live near some pretty steep hills for urban streets, around 20% grade, but a run is barely over 100 ft vertical. Anyway, I've seen people using skins and modern light AT gear to skin for laps. A few even had lycra on....
                        I think we have a 9th category.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by cesare View Post
                          ...how to make the perfect skin track avoiding kick turns at all costs. And they will go on and on for hours about the dozens of types of kick turns they have perfected.
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                          • #14
                            I like when the thread about the comedic article is actually funnier than the original source material.

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                            • #15
                              Perhaps we could collectively work on the 7 tele-touring types. It wouldn't start a cult but we could have a laugh. Tele-geezers is one for sure. Or in youthspeak tele-gummers.
                              I acknowledge that I live on the traditional territory of the Algonquin Nation

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